


moments of you

by unhappyrefrain



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Amnesia, Angst, Backrubs, Caretaking, Character Development, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, rating bc theres one (1) nsfw drabble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10189265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhappyrefrain/pseuds/unhappyrefrain
Summary: —the best gesture of my brain is less thanyour eyelids' flutter which sayswe are for each other: thenlaugh, leaning back in my armsfor life's not a paragraphand death i think is no parenthesis(or, the shumika drabble collection.)





	1. dress-up

**Author's Note:**

> summary taken from "since feeling is first" by e.e. cummings  
> this actually contains my first ever shumika drabbles from may omg... old stuff mostly, and cool aus i've never had the time to elaborate on  
> i really needed a place to dump my shumikas so... here they are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY FIRST EVER SHUMIKA. LIMITED EDITION. GET IT WHILE YOU CAN before i eventually take it down out of embarrassment

Shu has never had clumsy hands, up until now; this moment, chest pressed against Mika's back, sewing up the corset loop by loop, and he can't seem to get the leather thread through the holes. He fumbles, grimaces-- Mika is sitting primly on the high stool, dark hair gleaming in the light shining straight down above him, from the vaulted roof of Shu's atelier. He doesn't turn around, which is good, but he does swing his feet, bouncing slightly on the chair, impatient but careful not to make any drastic movements. For a moment Shu considers scolding him, considers telling Mika off-- _dolls do not move while being dressed! stay still!_ \-- but Mika takes a perfect breath just as Shu pulls quick on the strings of another row, as if he knows exactly when, as if he can sense Shu's movement and intent, and the life thrumming through Mika's every move is more beautiful than Shu-- dare he say it?-- could imagine in the most delicate, exquisite doll.

He takes a break from stitching up the corset to run a thin hand through Mika's hair.

"Can you breathe sufficiently?" he asks, and oh _no_ did Mika just nuzzle up into his hand? He can't _do_ this.

"Yup! 'S fine," Mika says, and even without facing him, Shu can hear the smile in his voice, see his mismatched eyes gleaming stronger than any gemstones he could threaten to replace them with. Sapphire and citrine, cast in beams of perfect, melting light.


	2. loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from may. my second ever shumika. this is vintage shumika material y'all

Shu narrows his focus; above the upbeat, chirruping music, dead center of the stage, looking alive and fay and sparkling. _Nito. Sweet Nito_. He shines in ways Shu has almost forgotten by now, the flower crown askew perfectly over his soft hair, and that smile-- the smile Shu would have torn his heart out from his chest to see again, though the blood covering his hands would remind him too much that he is human. Messy, imperfect, spilling life-red all over the front of his blazer, ruining the silk, the ruffles. He would have.

 _My Nito_ , he thinks, proudly, sorrowfully. There is a light on this stage that shines above all others. Just for a moment, Shu slides back into the old feeling-- _this light that I created, that I tuned to perfection_ \-- but then, blinks hard, feels his eyes blur.

Nito was never his light. Nito was never even his. Nito coaxed it from his own chest, kindled it within him long after he had left Shu behind. All Shu had done was, was

 

  
and he feels the lurch of regret, feels sick to his stomach, even though he’s eaten nothing today, but then Kagehira-- _Mika--_ slowly curls his fingers into Shu's sweating palm.

Mika, he remembers, is what he has. Mika waits, shining mismatched eyes through his bangs up at Shu, waiting for him to turn around. To turn to him.

The urge to cry, to sink to his knees in the crowd and choke, dissipates at the slow brush of Mika's thumb over the back of Shu's hand. _Ah_ , he thinks. _I had almost slipped_. But this, this is what fills his heart now: Mika's sleepy eyelids upon waking, the chipper lilt of his accent, the sweet aftertaste of his lips, the reassuring touch of a hand. The fact that Mika hasn't called him Oshi-san when they're alone in-- in God knows how long, and now what slips from his mouth, in joy and assurance and gratitude and whispered tones of satisfaction, is so, so simple: _Shu. Shu. Shu._

"Shu?”

Somehow Mika's voice is all he can hear above the crowd. Above the accompaniment, above the cheering-- above Nito.

"Ah. Yes, I."

Shu looks down, and lets out a soft exhale through his nose.

"Y'need to get outta here? We can walk on home, if yer feelin' strange..."

He looks up at Nito-- a living, exuberant doll, one that gained a heart-- then down, back into Mika's gaze. One that was never a doll at all. Unmanageable, unpredictable. Unconditional.

 _Loved_.

"I... think I am quite all right." He levels, then enlaces their fingers. "Thank you. Mika."


	3. dollmaker/witch au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 sentence prompt. shu is a faerie dollmaker whose magic has been sealed; mika is a human witch who runs away from home and becomes his apprentice, to help animate shu's dolls.
> 
> i want to continue this au

Mika watches as Shu paints the finishing touches— such long, delicate fingers, as he holds up the doll to the flickering candlelight and eases down the brush on porcelain cheeks; the rouge is apple-blush, perfect just like the rest of her. He prepares his spell, for the moment Shu’s vision is satisfied, the moment he flashes that rare, soft smile of his and sets the doll gentle in Mika’s hands— the reason he’s here, casting life into each of Shu’s masterpieces, Mika thinks, is to _see_ that, to be the only _one_ to see that. 

Shu breathes out a sigh, and Mika feels the quiet touch of the miniature silk dress in his palms, looks up for that passing moment to see Shu’s smile— and that’s all it takes for the power to concentrate, for the life that sparked within him at that simple glance to course through his fingers and _glow_ —

the doll’s eyes flutter open.


	4. amnesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also an au i want to develop. mika is a healer witch with a pocketwatch that can turn back time.
> 
> warning for mentions of suicide.

Mika’s hands are pressing against Shu’s motionless chest, gripping the fabric of his bloodied shirt with trembling knuckles, and the stuttering glow in his fingertips is weak but he’s still _trying_ to restart the unmoving, departed heart. Desperately, he’s wishing, praying, mumbling and chanting under his breath, the pocket-watch hanging around his neck as silent as Shu’s corpse— he can’t, he can’t live without him, _please, please come back, i love you, let my wish ring out, let it reach you, please—_ and the monitor flatlines for a terrifying, endless minute.

Mika is shaking now, feeling like his ribs have been wrenched open and all his vulnerable, suddenly unprotected organs are spilling out onto the hospital linoleum floor— but then there’s a throb in the silent air, a rewinding sound like a music box or a watch, and the faltering glow in his fingers becomes unstoppable, fills the empty room with stunning golden light.

Slowly those eyes Mika loved (not past tense, not anymore) flutter open. They’re as empty and endless as the space between stars when Shu gazes up at him, a line of blood still at the corner of his mouth— the remnant of his despair, of what was supposed to be his grand finale.

“Oshi-sa… _Shu,_ ” Mika breathes, warm hope bubbling in his chest.

Shu’s voice is flat when he says, “How curious. Did you put the wrong eye in this morning?”

Mika screams, and screams, and _screams_ until he can’t feel his throat anymore.


	5. living doll au (nsfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW DRABBLE please be warned.
> 
> au where shu is the living doll this time and mika is his caretaker. they're bonded so shu depends on mika sharing his life force to stay animate.

He's close, and he knows Mika can tell, can read his body perfectly just by the way Shu twitches and pulses around him. The name falls from Shu's lips, over and over, casting the spell, sealing the bond-- _Mika_ , he whimpers, _Mika, Mika,_ and then Mika calls his name, half-whispered, reverent and adoring. _Shu_ , he says. _Shu_.

The sound of that one syllable, the power and meaning behind it, is enough to push Shu closer to the edge than ever before. Mika pulls his hips back to meet him, letting himself reach deeper, and Shu's back is arching off the bed, so close he's so _close_ , his head is buzzing and his whole body feels tense, all his joints locking, and Mika's hands trace up to his open chest, tempting and promising and _yes, yes, yes yes yes yes yes--_

The moment Mika's hands make contact again with the frantic metal of his core, Shu loses himself, wailing Mika's name as the sensation of Mika's life force flooding into him overlaps with the overwhelming, dizzying pleasure that finally takes him and swallows him whole. Huge, heaving spasms rock his body, accompanied by hiccuping sobs that Shu can't control anymore, and he feels utterly wrecked as each wave of his orgasm crashes over him, as Mika continues to draw pleasure out of his body with desperate, powerful thrusts. He's coming and he's coming over and over again, whimpering as repeated bursts of sticky heat paint his stomach and thighs, drenching him completely.

"Shu-- oh-- _Shu_ ," Mika gasps, as he curls his fingers desperately around the metal edges of Shu's heart and buries himself deep, flooding Shu with warmth and energy, throbbing within him. He's all over Shu, inside him in so many different ways, touching him everywhere and rendering him utterly helpless and full. The tension in Shu's ball joints goes slack, as if the bearings have gotten too loose to stay stable or upright at all, and he can't move, sagging down into the bed uselessly. Mika's fingers are still crackling with life when he lifts them from Shu's whirring heart, the full, satisfied sensation in Shu's body only compounded by the fact that he's charged and here and _alive_. 

"Feels better?" Mika asks, pulling out gradually, letting Shu adjust to the very weird empty-yet-full feeling. There are crystalline beads of sweat dripping from under his bangs, and Shu can't see anything on Mika's body that isn't perfect-- he tries to open his mouth, but his voice hasn't quite been recovered, as it tends to do after Shu is given a full magical charge, so he just gives a gentle, warm smile, nods to the best of his ability, before the ball joint in his neck causes his head to roll and collapse directly onto its side.

"Whoops," Mika whispers, sets his hands back under Shu's chin to stabilize his head upright. "There ya go."

Shu just leans into the touch, body heavy, trusting in Mika. This is the embodiment of their love, the way Shu relaxes into Mika's arms: a doll cursed with human needs abandoned by his creator, and his loyal, loving caretaker, sharing half of his heart, half of his very life.


	6. maintenance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter request drabble for @melxdyinthedark. it's exactly what it looks like.
> 
> sorta warning for mentions of child neglect and eating disorder. Sorta. very vague. also vague sex reference

Shu tests the weight of Mika's arms, of his joints; feels the bone of it under his fingers, the rough patch on his elbow that always comes back no matter how many times he rubs lotion into it. Mika leans back on the headboard, smiling contentedly, eyes fluttering closed. He lets out a soft "nnah" when Shu reaches over to pump lotion into one hand and palms it from his elbow over the back of his forearm, and begins to massage it in, hands working the magic they always have on Mika's body. Precise and gentle and warm, and so thorough-- Mika melts happily into the touch, sighing, his head falling back as he breathes slowly out. Shu touching him is always so _good,_ and after a long day of school and work and practice and performance it's exactly what he has craved all day. (Admittedly, he had thought of Shu's hands on him in the middle of washing dishes-- thought of his Oshi-san gently massaging out the knots in his shoulders and back, combing his hair through those long thin talented fingers, almost _feeling_ the touch as he imagined it-- and nearly dropped the porcelain plate he was scrubbing into the sink.)

But he isn't going to say that, definitely not. At least, not until Shu finishes with his arm and slips a hand under the arch of Mika's back to gather him in, hooking his fingers under the hem of his shirt, and Mika immediately flushes even though he knows this is the kind of intimacy that won't end with his back arching and breath coming fast and broken, mind gone completely blinding-white with pleasure-- this is the kind that ends with his shirt maybe still off, his whole body glowing with relaxation, maybe a few chaste kisses here and there. It's another way Shu shows his devotion, another way Shu can give him love, wordlessly and gently, spoiling him, taking care of him.

It's a tradition. Sometimes, it's all Mika has left to look forward to, at the end of the worst kind of day.

Mika lifts his arms, blushing as he grins, and Shu smoothes his palms over the jutting spine, the worryingly-visible ribs that stick out against his skin, pale from a self-imposed malnutrition. He tests the fat on Mika's waist. There's enough to pinch, at least. "You've put on some weight, finally. Has it helped to eat breakfast together?"

"Think so," Mika hums. "Ever since Oshi-san started makin' breakfast on school mornings I feel way better durin' the day. Gets me kickstarted, or somethin'?"

"We can continue that. I need you at a relatively healthier weight, especially if you intend to keep taking on ridiculous amounts of part-time work..." Shu sighs, rolls Mika over onto his stomach and begins to work on his back. It's obviously been burdened, contorted with effort, his spine painfully visible and his ribs stark-- but never as stark, Shu notes with a sigh, as when he had first took Mika home from the garbage dump, ragged and long-haired and emaciated with neglect. And that gives him some relief. This is his Kagehira, his precious doll, become so beautiful and so human.

Shu works his thumbs into the base of Mika's back, and Mika whimpers in his throat, a little pained but mostly relieved, the sweet ache of resolution, of sorting out something that had been so crooked for so long. "Deep breaths, Kagehira, don't hold your breath," Shu whispers, stern and gentle, and Mika complies, shuddering exhales when Shu's hands press deep into the muscle and work through the strain. "There we are, that's a good doll."

"Nnah, Oshi-san..." Mika melts a little just from Shu's words, letting himself sag down into the soft mattress. He can't stop the embarrassing noises when Shu is taking such good care of him, and he can't stop his thoughts either, too dizzy and hazy with bliss to be bashful anymore. "Ugh, I think about this soooo much, I love it when y'take care of me, 'm so happy..."

Shu stammers a bit, then regains his composure before he can get too flustered. "Of course you do," he huffs, but he's smiling where Mika can't see him. (But Mika can always hear the smile in his voice anyway.) "It would make me quite a disappointing dollmaker if my dolls did not enjoy their maintenance, hm?"

"I love iiiit. I love Oshi-san," Mika slurs happily, and sighs deep and slow again as he lets himself indulge in Shu's touch, in the clarity and tenderness of Shu's love.


	7. zombie au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for witchcrumbs on twitter. i'm sad

_Not today,_ is always Shu's first thought the moment they come close to danger, to infection, to a graze over Mika's clothes or a body dragging itself up to the window. _Not today._ One day, he _knows_ , something will inevitably happen-- Shu will let his guard down, Mika will be clumsy, and one slip will destroy them, but it will not be today, not now. Not today, definitely not while they still have the unlooted conbini to hide in, while they have enough food to get by; they can't waste it by making such a stupid mistake like dying. No, not today, not even when Mika sees Arashi who is not Arashi outside their window, and thinks he sees a glimmer of recognition in its remaining eye ( _its_ , he has to tell himself, _its, that's not Naru-chan anymore,_ ) and weeps for thirty minutes, clinging to Shu with bloody fingertips and burying his face in Shu's ragged collar.

At night they keep the lamp hidden behind the shelves to make sure the light doesn't attract any wanderers. At night they hide out in the staff room of the old conbini and huddle together under grimy fleece blankets with nothing but a small propane stove and each other's bodies for warmth. At night Shu begins to wonder if it's worth all the struggle to stay alive anymore, to fight through the days and fear for their lives every night, when he knows perfectly well that they will not survive forever, that this is a world they cannot continue to live in, that the end will be here very, very soon, when they least expect it.

But Mika-- Mika is there. Mika needs him, needs his strength and skill and warmth, depends on him like this, and what kind of mentor would Shu be if he didn't continue to stand up? He can't let himself die first-- then Mika would be all alone. But if Mika died first, it would be all his fault, for not being able to protect him. Obviously, the only solution Shu has left is not to let anyone die at all.

 _So not today,_ he thinks, as Mika leans his tired head on his shoulder, sniffling from the cold. _Not today._ He bundles Mika up, pulls him into his lap and strokes his hair until Mika's rapid anxious breathing settles down into sleep. He will spend the night on watch. _It will be fine,_ he thinks, _as long as Mika is here._

_It will be over someday, but not today, never today._

_Not as long as I have him to keep safe._

Holding his precious one, Shu sits, and waits for the morning.


End file.
